Life, A Journey

I dedicate this to two men I admire: Mike Magnuson and my uncle, Sudarshan Rao Duttaluri; the first I admired — my father, he died ten years ago.

In an interview from this magazine, Rahman says,

Sometimes you have to go against your grain for a greater experience,
to experience life better than be bound by the limits of your personality.

Rahman is a sufi, he’s always been spiritual, about life, about music. He was the reason I understood soundscapes and harmonies. I bought his first cassette outside a rainy studio in 1992. There was a sweet shop next to it, little yellow balls of jaggery that I now miss eating, living in another country. I bought all his music, recorded his CDs. I had no money. The cassettes lay behind my bed stacked like dominoes, each labeled by hand.

Later, Rahman explains in a Q&A,

You should let go of yourself when you create something new and not sit in your box and let something good pass by. You grow only if you take the risk of adapting and discovering. That way, you can have a longer journey.

When I posted this on my facebook — and I rarely do — my uncle hit a long reply.

I had stared at monitors before.

In this translation, as I re-write, it is still his thoughts that linger:

Outside world is endless.

It doesn’t matter how long is your journey. More is inside than outward. If we look inward, I must say, we will find everything. Risks and journeys and every greater experience can alter your path and as such there’s no definite personality. Personality is dynamic. New experiences are a must and to keep this personality unchanged (like keeping our face same every morning), the cells that die in your face during day must make new faces at night, every second. You must traverse the path of high risk and live new experiences and keep looking deeper, blindly, only then, you will have a point to reach.

It is inside where you must access truth and memories. It is here you reach to a point of no end or goal. Inside is where it all begins.

Kaki, The Indian crow

In my language, they call me Kaki. I have wings and I prey around cemeteries above dead fathers and mothers and old grandparents buried deep in wood and figs. The people are scared of me when we fly in pairs, in the hundreds. It’s sunday today and I see a new family weeping next to the willow tree. A boy, bare chested, holds an earthen pot on his head and rotates around the pyre. Next to him, the same priest I saw yesterday recites mantras. He instructs the boy to spread a leaf and place the ball of rice in three corners and the boy, after praying, raises his head towards the sky. I swing my wings and hurl down the pyre and grab the rice on the banana leaf next to where he left and say hello, mother f… I am kaki, the crow of death — I am here to take your soul.

She stood in front of the mirror pretending to comb her hair. She brushed the splits, wiring them one by one in her fingers. Her nails were bruised. Her eyes sunk. She was raped.

I had a lot of fun interviewing Michael Nye, managing editor of The Missourie Review. There are two parts to it. There’s so much confession in the first part. But don’t miss part II. It goes really deep.

http://thereviewreview.com/interviews/were-all-writers-too

^Like my interviews? See here for the rest.

Stephen Markeley, Publish this Book

^Like my interviews? See here for the rest.

Ian Chung, Editor of Euonia Review

^Like my interviews? See here for the rest.

Character Questionnaire

1. What’s his/her name? Does it have any special meaning or significance?
2. How old is he/she? How does he/she feel about his/her age?
3. What’s his/her ethnic background? How important is it to him/her?
4. What does he/she look like? How does he/she feel about his/her looks?
5. What does he/she wear to work? What does he/she wear to school/church/bed? Out to dinner? A club? What’s dressing up look like?
6. Does he/she wear jewelry? What kind?
7. What does he/she smell like?
8. What’s his/her hygiene ritual? Does he/she primp and how? How often does he bathe? Brush his/her teeth? Shave?
9. Is he/she deformed or marked in any way? Tattoos or birthmarks? Describe the tattoos and when/why she got them.
10. How does your character see him/herself? Pretty? Handsome? Ugly? Average?
11. What is your character’s profession? What does he/she actually do? Does he/she enjoy their job?
12. What kinds of jobs has he/she had in the past? What’s the most degrading job he/she has ever had? What’s the most prestigious?
13. Does he/she smoke, drink or do drugs? Does he/she take prescription drugs or vitamins? How often and why?
14. What kind of food does he/she eat regularly? What kind of food is a treat? What is his/her favorite dish?
15. What food has your character never eaten? What food does he/she despise?
16. What is his/her favorite beverage?
17. Can he/she cook? What does he/she cook?
18. Is your character talkative?
19. How does your character speak? Softly? Boisterously? Does he/she use slang? What kind? Does he/she have an accent? Which?
20. How does he/she greet others?
21. Does he/she have a verbal tick? What’s something he/she’s always saying?
22. Does he/she lie? About what? Cheat? How? Steal? What and how?
23. Does he/she talk to him/herself? About what? Under what circumstances?
24. Where was he/she born? Where was he/she raised? Describe that area.
25. What is/was the socio-economic situation for him/her growing up? How does/did he/she feel about it? Has it changed over time? How? How does he/she feel about his/her current situation?
26. How many times has your character moved and for what reasons?
27. What is his/her first memory?
28. What’s his/her family like? Who’s there?
29. What’s his/her relationship with his/her father like? What’s a defining moment in this relationship?
30. What’s his/her relationship with her mother like? What’s a defining moment in this relationship?
31. Does he/she have brothers? Sisters? Cousins? What’s her relationship with them like? What’s a defining moment?
32. Grandparents? Aunts/Uncles? Close family friends? Nieces/Nephews? Defining moments?
33. How does he/she feel about his/her family in general? In particular? What are the things he/she is embarrassed about having to do with his/her family? What are the things he/she is proud of about her family?
34. Have any family members died? When? How? How did/does it affect him/her?
35. How does she feel about funerals?
36. Does his/her family really know him/her?
37. Is/was he/she married? How many times? How old was he/she at the wedding(s)? Describe his/her wife/husband. Are they a good match? Why/why not?
38. Does your character keep secrets? About what? From whom?
39. Who or what embarrasses him/her most?
40. Who or what makes him/her nervous?
41. Who or what makes him/her angry?
42. Does he/she express how he/she feels? How?
43. Is he/she good in bed? Why?
44. Does he/she masturbate? Look at pornography? How does he/she feel about this? What does he/she fantasize about?
45. What’s his/her relationship to sex? Is he/she repulsed by sex? Obsessed with sex? Shy about sex?
46. What’s your character’s favorite song? TV show? Movie? Quote? Book?
47. Who was his/her favorite teacher and why? Who was his/her least favorite teacher and why?
48. What does he/she do while riding in a car? Sing? Play games? Argue? Talk to him/herself? What?
49. What’s his/her common mode of transportation? Car, bus, train, bike, feet? What does he/she love and despise about this?
50. What’s his/her living situation like? Describe the house/apartment. Is it neat or messy? Describe what this looks like. How big/small is it? How many people live there? Is he/she responsible for anyone aside from him/herself? How does he/she feel about the situation?
51. What color is your character’s bedroom? What’s under the bed? In the closet? In the drawers?
52. What item could he/she not live without? Why?
53. What objects or tokens does he/she save? Why?
54. Does he/she have a photo album? What’s in there? How far does it go back?
55. How does he/she feel about having his/her photo taken?
56. Does he/she tell jokes? Are they funny?
57. Does he/she laugh often? What does he/she find funny?
58. Has he/she ever been hospitalized? What for?
59. Has he/she ever broken a bone? Which and how?
60. Does he/she have a disease or illness? Does someone he/she is close to have a disease or illness?
61. Does he/she have cavities? Braces?
62. How does he/she feel about doctors? Dentists?
63. How does he/she show affection?
64. Does he/she make lists? What kind of things make it onto the lists?
65. How does he/she feel about shopping? What kinds of things does he/she like to buy? What doesn’t he/she like to shop for?
66. How’s his/her memory? Good? Cloudy? Terrible? Does he/she remember some things but not others? What kinds of things?
67. Does he/she have or want to have children? Why? How many? Is gender important?
68. What kinds of dreams does he/she have? What are they about? How does he/she feel about them? Are there nightmares?
69. How does he/she sleep?
70. When’s his/her birthday? How does he/she feel about it?
71. How does he/she feel about aging?
72. Has he/she had, or does he/she want to have, plastic surgery? On what?
73. Does your character dance? How? Alone or with people?
74. What does the word “paradise” mean to him/her?
75. What does the word “happiness” mean to him/her?
76. What does the word “failure” mean to him/her?
77. What does the word “beautiful” mean to him/her?
78. Is he/she religious? What religion does he/she practice and to what degree?
79. Does he/she attend religious services? Where and how often? How does he/she feel about it?
80. What’s his/her sexual orientation? Straight? Homosexual? Bisexual? Transsexual? How does he/she feel about this? How does he she think others feel about it?
81. What is he/she most afraid of? Why?
82. Where does he/she feel safest? Why?
83. Where/when does he/she feel most at risk? Why?
84. What does your character remember from before 5 years old? What does he/she remember from grade school? Middle school? High School? College or young adulthood? Graduate school? Mid-life?
85. What would he/she list as a pivotal moment in his/her life?
86. What’s the most traumatic thing he/she has ever gone through? When did it happen? Does it still affect him/her? How?
87. Where has your character traveled? Where do they want to go? Why?
88. Does he/she have pets? What kind? Why?
89. What are his/her hobbies?
90. What’s his/her Meyer’s Briggs Personality Type: Introvert (I)/Extrovert (E); Sensing (S)/Intuition (N); Thinking (T)/Feeling (F); Judging (J)/Perceiving ℗?
91. What does he/she hope no one knows about him/her?
92. What does he/she want everyone to know?
93. Is he/she modest? Egotistical? What’s his/her opinion of him/herself?
94. What’s he/she really good at? Does he/she think this is valuable?
95. What’s he/she really bad at? Does he/she think this is a problem?
96. Who does your character care most about? Why?
97. What drives your character crazy? What are his/her pet peeves?
98. What’s he/she judgmental about? What are his/her biases/prejudices?
99. Is your character an artist of any kind? What kind? How do they feel about it?
100. What is your character looking/searching for? What does he/she want most?

Richard Mathews, Editor of Tampa Review

^Like my interviews? See here for the rest.

It’s the only place I know of its kind.

Here’s my first interview with a magazine I deeply admire:
Alexis Santi, Our Stories Literary Magazine

^Like my interviews? See here for the rest.

Harvard Square | Chained Bike | Alone